Sing a song of Lohtown

Last week I was helping a friend to change her daughter's nappy.  I started singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to distract Miss 2 and calm her down. My friend commented on how effective singing was. I hadn't really thought about it before, but I sing a lot with my kids. I sing to them and with them as part of everyday life in Lohtown. So today, I thought I'd share with you some of the ways that I use singing in our home.

Distraction: nappy-change

Stinky Pants [to the tune of Thundercats]

Stinky pants is on the move, 

Stinky pants is loose... 
Stinky, stinky, stinky, stinky pants!

New Pants [I think Franky made this tune up...]

Pants, pants, pants, pants,

Pants, pants, pants, pants,

Makes you want to dance, 

When you've got new pants. 

You Smell Like Poo! [no tune]

You smell like poo!

Oh yes you do!

You smell like poo!

Oh yes you do!


Twinkle Twinkle little star
I have sung this song with my own kids, as well as with friends' kids. It seems to be calming for little people and has the added advantage of keeping their hands busy and out of their dirty nappy ;)

Wheels on the Bus
Both of my boys have particularly loved this song and we make up our own verses (eg our Daddy in the bus snores). It's also a fun song for clothes/nappy changing because you can do actions - swishing legs from side to side (as the wipers), cycling legs (as the wheels), honking noses (as the horn), etc.

Distraction: brushing teeth

Brush, brush, brush (from Playschool)

Ch... Ch... Ch... The toothbrush song (from Playschool)

Keeping on task

I often sing songs during tasks to remind the boys what they are supposed to be doing. It's much nicer than nagging. 

Bath-time [to the tune of The Farmer in the Dell]

We're walking up the stairs,

We're walking up the stairs,

Hi-ho the derry-o,

We're walking up the stairs.

It's time to have a bath,

It's time to have a bath,

Hi-ho the derry-o,

It's time to have a bath.

Just having fun

Bedtime Song [to the tune of The Wheels on the Bus]

The Mummy in the bed goes sh-sh-sh

Sh-sh-sh, sh-sh-sh,

The Mummy in the bed goes sh-sh-sh all night long.

The brother in the bed goes cough, cough, cough, 

Cough, cough, cough,  cough, cough, cough, 

The brother in the bed goes cough, cough, cough all night long.

The baby in the bed goes *snore*

*snore* *snore*

The baby in the bed goes *snore* all night long.

In China They Never Grow Chilli (Limerick Song)

The verses are limericks (and it was only tonight when I looked at Wikipedia that I realised the original verses are actually quite rude - we don't use those ones!). Franky & I actually make the verses up, one line each. When Mr Sociable was a baby, we would often sing this song, making up funny verses - which calmed Mr Sociable down, but also gave us some laughs in trying situations!

Chorus:

Ay-yi-yi-yi,

In China they never grow chilli

So sing me another verse

That's worse than the first verse

Make sure that it's foolish and silly.

Teaching
We sing songs to learn about numbers (see my Counting Songs post) and letters/sounds (we sometimes listen to Jolly Phonics in the car). We sing songs to learn about God and the Bible. Mr Sociable particularly likes Colin Buchanan - which is great for all of us to listen to in the car.

What songs do you sing in your house?

Help me adjust to "Big School"!

We are going through a big period of adjustment in our family. This term, Mr Sociable started going to Prep 3 days a week. Somehow 3 days a week seems like so much more than the 2 days a week that he was going last term.

He's loving it - I can see him learning, growing, maturing. But I'm grieving - losing my little boy to the "big school boy" that he is becoming. I feel like I'm giving away part of my parenting role - having to trust the teacher with the heart and mind of my precious boy. When he comes home from school, he is so tired. He doesn't really want to talk; he just wants to blob in front of the TV. Last week, he fell asleep in the car on the way home! We eat dinner early and he is in bed by 6:30. I feel like I'm missing out on a big chunk of his life.

First day of Prep, Feb 2012

It makes me wonder what it will be like next year when he is at school 5 days a week. How will we find time to be together as a family? When will I have those precious hours with him, just hanging around at home - making cardboard firetrucks, playing lego, cooking muffins, driving matchbox cars?? When will we get to chat about God and life? How will I be able to shape his character and teach him godliness when he is hardly ever home? How will we fit in swimming lessons? And will there actually be time for him to start learning to play the piano?

So, I look to you, parents of older children.... How do you do it? How do you juggle school, extracurricular activities, church, family? How do you make sure you are still getting enough one-on-one time with your kids? And how do you let go of the grief of "losing" your little person?

Will my weaknesses be their weaknesses?

Do you ever think about your areas of weakness? Do you wonder if your kids will inherit your messy hand-writing? or your terrible ball skills? or your dislike of maths? or your unco dance moves?

I recently read a FB/blog comment in which the author criticised parents who allow their children to start school without ball skills. It occurred to me that I could be one of those parents next year! I have no aptitude for sport and Mr Sociable has shown little interest in ball games - as such, we don't spend a lot of time throwing, catching or kicking a ball.

That comment has made me think about all the things that I am not teaching my kids. All the things that they could be learning, but don't. There are things that come easily to me as a parent - teaching Mr Sociable to read, creating fun learning activities, involving my kids in cooking and doing craft together. But there are some areas in which I feel pretty unskilled - particularly in sport. I don't watch sport, I don't play sport. I can't tell you the rules of soccer or basketball, I can't tell the the best way to learn to throw overarm. So how can I encourage my kids to overcome their sport handicap?

I've been thinking the example my Mum gave me while I was growing up. My Mum is not very interested in craft - she would rather do just about anything else than complete a scrap-booking or card-making project (I suspect she would even rather do the ironing!). But, my sister and I really loved it. So, she encouraged our interest by buying card-making equipment and doing card-making projects with us. She learnt how to do stencil embossing, paper-quilling and stamping. I remember spending lots of time at the kitchen table together, working on Christmas cards and other projects. Despite not being very interested in craft, my Mum learnt new skills and shared them with us.

So, last week, I decided that Mr Sociable and I should kick a ball around in the backyard. He was not very interested in the aimless kicking that I suggested. So, I created a goal against the fence, using our empty sandpit. Then he really started to enjoy the challenge of scoring goals! We weren't competing - just taking turns to kick the ball into the goal. He was able to start out pretty close to the goal and to try moving backwards as he got more confident. He did this task over and over again (and was keen to try again the next day!).

The thing that surprised me the most was that I actually enjoyed this activity. Even though I'm not very sporty, I enjoyed the time spent doing sport with my boys. Even though I felt out of my depth teaching Mr Sociable how to kick, I loved seeing his excitement when he managed to kick a goal! I'm not pretending to suddenly be a sport-lover, but I am keen to spend more time together in the backyard, kicking a ball around (I'm also planning to dig out my "Fundamental Movement Skills" information from school to make sure I'm actually teaching him the right thing ;)).

So, what about you? Can you see areas of weakness that you inherited from your parents? Do you have areas of weakness that you can see your kids are developing too?

 

A parenting fail

Have you ever had one of those moments when you realise that you've really messed up - that you've advertently hurt someone else and can’t take it back? Have you worried that maybe you've broken a little piece of their heart?

Recently, I had one of those moments with Mr Sociable. He wanted my attention. He kept asking me to play with him, kept getting underfoot as I was trying to get things done and complaining when I didn’t “play cars” with him. Eventually he jumped in the middle of the tent that Franky and I were trying to pack away. I yelled at him and he ran away crying.

I knew I had done the wrong thing. I knew I had been impatient and selfish. He wanted my attention. He loves to be around me. He is 4.

I waited a few minutes to cool off and went to find him. He was outside, crying. I knew he would be upset and that I would need to apologise. I knew that we would need to talk about Mummy being busy etc. But, when I asked him what was wrong, I was not expecting him to say, “You don’t like me” - words I never wanted to hear from my child’s lips. How devastating to know that my precious little man honestly believed that I didn’t like him – that I didn’t want to spend time with him because I didn’t want to be around him.

We talked for a long time. I explained that I do love him, that I do like being around him, but that I can’t spend all day playing because sometimes there are other things I need to do (washing, cleaning, cooking). I tried to explain that I do those things to look after our family – not because I don’t want to spend time with him. But, if I am completely honest, there are other times that I have said “no” just because I didn’t feel like playing (because I was tired, or preferred to do something else).

It makes me sad to think about all the times he has felt that I don’t like him – when I have told him that I couldn’t play with him because I needed to do “jobs”. I have been pretty busy since we got home from camping - getting everything unpacked and washed, etc. Mr Sociable is very big on "quality time", but to him "quality" is also about quantity - he feels loved when he receives my undivided attention - and lots of it! Since that horrible conversation, I have been making a concerted effort to stop and listen to him when he is talking to me – to give him my attention – and also to make more time for us to play together.

One thing that really helps both of us is having a visible day plan/routine chart. Mr Sociable likes to know what we are going to be doing for the day and having the cards displayed means that he can see all the times I have already played with him that day – or the times when I will play later in the day. I was really disciplined about using the chart last year, but this year it keeps falling by the wayside. I think I need to make a concerted effort to start planning our days again, ensuring that there is time each day for me to play with Mr Sociable (as well as set times to get jobs done). I’m hoping that this regular “mummy time” will remind him how much I love him and do want to spend time with him.

How do you show your kids that you love them?

One of those days...

Have you ever had one of those days when you want to go and hide in a cupboard, or lock yourself out in the garden and pretend you can't hear the noise inside??

Yesterday was one of those days!

Mr Fun has been Mr "Not-so-Fun" for a few days now. It started last week (maybe Wednesday or Thursday?) - pretty much all-day grizzling (interspersed with pleasant periods when he is distracted by a toy or a new person). I think it's his teeth - all four canines have cut through & he has a slight temp. But then again, he could be coming down with something - time will tell!

Anyway, by the afternoon, I was starting to lose my patience. I looked at the clock, noticed it was only 2pm and realised it was another 3 hours until dinner! I had been planning to take the kids grocery shopping in the afternoon, but there was no way I was going to subject myself, my children & the rest of the shopping centre to that torture! So instead I gave Mr Sociable some painting to do at the table, gave Mr Fun some extra cuddles and eventually took them both out to the garden. I let Mr Sociable "water the garden" (which mostly involved putting lots of water in his dirt put to make mud). I left the boys to get dirty while I made some low-stress dinner.

Since I hadn't gone grocery shopping or menu-planned for the week, dinner options were a bit limited. But, I decided that 2 minute noodles were a good solution for "one of those days". I added some grated carrot, frozen corn & stirred through some egg - just so it felt a bit more nutritious as a dinner!

The boys LOVED it. They both ate two bowlfuls and Mr Fun even ate some of the vegies :). But the best part was that they were so quiet at the table. After a day like yesterday, it was BLISS!!

What easy meals do you make on days like these?

My Biggest Critic

I want to be the Mum who never yells - who keeps her cool in all circumstances and patiently teaches her children. I want to have a tidy house, an empty washing basket and cook fabulously nutritious meals every day. I want to hang out all the clothes to air-dry - even when it's been raining for two months and the garage is cluttered with washing rails.

I want to be the perfect wife - always having the energy and love to car for my husband as he deserves. I want to enthusiastically teach my children about God - to help them to be excited about knowing Him. I want to make meals for other people, help other mums with new babies, maintain all of my friendships and do a fantastic job of running our playgroup. I want to play games and do craft with my kids, even when I'm totally exhausted and would rather plop them in front of the TV.

But the truth is, I cannot be my "ideal" woman. I've been chasing her for so long, trying to be her, criticising myself for not being her. Then last night, when I was talking to Franky about this, he told me that she doesn't exist. Now that may sound obvious to you, but it gave me a real wake-up call! I spend so much time "doing stuff", chasing the Mummy that I want to be, but the reality never lives up to the dream. The reality is that Mr Sociable would prefer me to give him a vegemite and cheese sandwich for prep than to bake him muffins or banana bread. He would rather that we sit and play together than me spending time cooking/sewing for him. The reality is that my house will never be spotless - not if I want to enjoy time with my kids and find time to sleep at night. The reality is that sometimes I yell at my kids and I'm selfish, rather than loving, towards my family.

I am not the ideal housewife and I am my own fiercest critic. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do differently now that I've had this great revelation - but it's definitely something I need to think more about and make some decisions about what things I should let go.

Are you a perfectionist? How do you go about making realistic expectations for yourself?

How do you REALLY love your kids on days when you don't like them very much?

You know those days - the ones when your kids are driving you insane? When you really want to love your kids, you really want to be a good parent, but you REALLY just don't like being around them? It pains me to admit that there are days when I feel like this. Days that I want to run away and lock myself in a cupboard!

I'd love to hear ideas from you - what do you do to love your kids on those days??

Here are a couple of my tips:
* Try to think about some of the great things you love about them
* Change location or activity (eg go outside to blow bubbles, walk to the park)
* Pray that God would give you patience & love