Friday, 21 October 2011

Lessons in trusting God (or, "Why am I such a slow learner?")

Our Family Holiday (Church Weekend Away)
Last weekend was our church weekend away - the first in a very long time. It went really well :) Lots of positive & encouraging feedback from people. There was lots of time for relaxing, getting to know people, learning together from the Bible, sharing meals together, enjoying the bushland and campsite, sharing in some baptisms and soaking in the sun. Well, that's what everyone tells me ;)

Bush-dance on Saturday night
Kids & Dads did wrestling in free-time
Franky & I were responsible for lots of the organisation - so we were pretty busy on the weekend away - and for the past few months of preparation. I'm a pretty task-oriented person, so I've been in "action mode". I achieved lots organisationally - writing a program, writing briefs for the people, liaising with the campsite, packing all the equipment for creche, etc. But, towards the end of my planning, I realised that I hadn't been relying on God to sort things out. I was so busy "doing" things, stressing about the issues and trying to solve everything myself (no one to run a kids program, not enough registrations to cover our minimum booking, rainy weather forecast etc). But God is so much bigger and more powerful than me and my attempts to control and "do" everything. Within the final week, the kids program got sorted, money issues were resolved (or pretty close to it) and the weather was beautiful - I felt pretty silly for not praying more, and stressing less!

Mr Sociable spent much of the weekend on his scooter (showing everyone the light-up wheels)
At the end of last month, Franky left his position at a graphic design studio with a plan to do freelance work. On the night before he finished, he still didn't have anything lined up and we were a little nervous. In my usual "planner" way, I had back-up plans - I could go back to work part-time, I could do some casual teaching... But, we prayed that God would provide work for Franky and help us to trust him. I resolved in my own head to step back a bit and just wait to see what would happen - to give Franky a chance to get some work, to trust that God would look after us.

Sure enough, the next day, Franky got a call from a recruiter who offered him freelance work for a week (which turned into two weeks). He had a couple of days off this week. It felt strange to have him home during the week (but we made the most of it by taking the kids swimming together!). Today, he has started another freelance stint that will go for a week or two. God has, and will, provide for us. We need to keep praying and trusting him. 

Mr Fun with Franky at the weekend away
Pregnancy with Mr Fun
This should have been the lesson that helped me to trust God forever. I had a big bleed in the 1st trimester and formed a clot. That night in Emergency, I prayed for my baby and I prayed we would trust God - whatever the outcome. A few ultrasounds followed and the midwife at the hospital told me that the baby should not have survived. I was scared. I prayed. Lots of people prayed for us. I had months of "rest", but we were still not sure whether the baby would be ok. More prayer and encouragement from my church family. At 29 weeks we went for yet another ultrasound and the clot was gone. Everything looked just perfect! Praise God!

19 weeks - clot smaller, but still there.
29 weeks - clot is gone, bubba boy is doing fine!
Perfect :)
Why do I find this lesson so hard to learn?? God big, me small. God powerful, me weak. God in control, me not. God has acted in my life in amazing ways. Why do I forget so quickly??

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